Illustration & Writing

Sumo

Life is like a sumo wrestling match

I think life is like a sumo wrestling match, you struggle to stay in it, but eventually you succumb and fall outside the ring, which means it’s over for you, your dead. Then I think, “I should work on improving my similes.”

Like many of you, I woke up this morning thinking, “I wonder how the Japanese thought up the crazy sport where a couple of big guys in diapers throw each other around?” Okay not many of you thought of that, maybe just a few. Okay, no one else did, it was just me.

I’m not a historian, but I’ll share my theory of origins of sumo wrestling. There were these two overweight guys who were in a dispute over something, maybe one insulted the other, maybe there was a girl involved, or maybe one of them ate the last chocolate chip cookie on the plate without asking if he could take it. Whatever it was, the point is not all that important. So they strip down to their underwear because they didn’t want to dirty their kimonos or whatever fashion men wore at that time. One of them said to the other, “Okay bring it on chubby man!” A crowd gathered because you know that’s how people are, they love to see people in conflict and drama. That’s why people enjoy watching two people beat each other senseless in a boxing ring and so many watch those reality shows when people are arguing and getting rude with each other.

Eventually, my curiosity led me to perform an internet search to find out the origins of sumo wrestling. I read somewhere that sumo matches were dedicated to the gods in prayer for a good harvest. Later it became a royal court ritual and/or used to decide political disputes. Two disputers would send their mightiest wrestlers to settle disagreements.

Just imagine if we used that same practice today with lawsuits. Instead of hiring a lawyer, we’d hire a sumo wrestler! If that was the case, I bet more people would actually want to get selected for jury duty to see two guys fight it out.

So okay, let me try this simile thing one more time. I think my life is like watching a sumo wrestling match, only there aren’t two large men wearing diapers trying to throw each other around, there isn’t a wrestling ring. So where does that leave me? I’m just watching the world go by. Yes, there’s a lot of room for improvement for my similes.

Sumo Lawyer
My thought on what a Sumo Lawyer would look like.
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